#5: The Quest for a Gender-Neutral Pronoun

For individuals who do not exist within the gender binary, finding a pronoun to use in everyday life is an important step. Many epicene (neither male nor female) pronouns exist, and many have gathered up through time. More popular examples include:

•  Ne/nem/nir/nirs/nemself
• ey/em/eir/eirs/eirself
• ze/hir/hir/hirs/hirself;zie/hir/hir/hirs/hirself;ze/zir/zir/zirs/zirself;zie/zir/zir/zirs/zirself

These can get complicated for various reasons. How does pronounce a neologism? How does on differentiate between various strains of the "ze" pronouns, if no one declension is accepted? What about "bleeding" between words that can make the gender neutral pronouns sound gendered in fast, colloquial speech? What if the pronunciation or spelling makes the words seem too gendered?  One reason that so many of these have been proposed is because each presents  unique quirks.

 Barring individual peculiarites, epicene pronouns in general can be difficult to integrate effectively into new language, as pronouns are used often and adding in a completely pronoun to our language can be harder than say, a verb or a noun . They, because it is already an established part of language, can serve as a good gender neutral pronoun, but with sentences like " Sam thought they were going to be late to the party", it can become confusing. Is they referring to only Sam, the hypothetical non-binary person, or is it referring to Sam and their friends? Despite the difficulty, finding correct pronouns for oneself is an important part of establishing one's identity and feeling comfortable in it. No matter who you are, language shapes reality and allows people to define themselves. If you have a friend who is choosing pronouns, bear with them even if the pronouns chosen may seem difficult or confusing. Taking a bit of time to learn someone's pronouns isn't too difficult, but it is extremely important in and treating that person with the dignity, respect and recognition they, or ne, or ey, or ze deserves.

Check out this list of various epicene pronouns and their various pros/cons: [x]

#4: Violence--more than just physical

Orange is the New Black actress  Laverne Cox recently said, "When a trans woman is called a man, that is an act of violence".  But how so? The World Health Organization  recently launched a report on what violence consists of. Violence  is defined as not only physical, but also emotional, not only from family but also from strangers. It has been found that ostracism can cause a similar physical effect than a blow.   Ostracism can come in many different forms, and even a brief moment of ostracism can hurt someone deeply for a long time . To tell someone that they are not the gender they identify as isn't just rude, but is a act of exclusion (you are not part of this gender) and dehumanization (you aren't a girl, you're an "it").  Because small acts of ostracism pile up as many people are wont to have the same reaction, and because ostracism threatens fundamental psychological needs such as belong and self-esteem, emotional violence ends up having the same effect as physical violence.

High rates of physical violence against trans* people exist, especially against trans women such as Laverne Cox. (And especially for trans women of color, who also must face the detrimental societal effects of racism.) The most murders against any group of queer people are against trans women. As the world is still so physically dangerous, small but additive acts of social violence only add to the difficulty of living within a society where cisgender people have all the power. 

Resources: WHO report, Ostracism: Consequences and Coping

#3:A Vlogbrothers video about Sexuality and Gender

Here is pretty and understandable exploration of the aspects of sexuality and gender which apply to each person, narrated by the lovely Hank Green from the famous "vlogbrothers".  "Common Sense" would dictate that gender identity, sex, orientation and gender roles would all align; the truth is a lot more fascinating. (One aspect Hank perhaps forgot to mention is gender expression. A trans-boy could still decide to dress up in girl's clothes for musical or for Halloween for example. A cis-male could be a drag queen and wear stage makeup and poofy dresses but still identify as male.)

Bonus Video:  Hank Green again , but in a previous post talking about his own sexuality. It's nice to see a public figure approach the topic casually and describe his experience honestly.  His electron analogy is wonderfully geeky! [x]

#2: What do the Letters mean?

Before jumping into the topic, it's good to start out with some definitions. So, what do these terms mean?

What is Trans*?

The term Trans* applies to people who where assigned a gender at birth (born male and raised male, for example) but feel that this is not their true gender.* Some trans* people will identity as the opposite gender, whereas others may feel that neither of the more commonly accepted genders (boy and girl) applies to them. Many transgender people will transition physically with the help of clothing choices, hormones and surgery. However, others will 'grow into' the gender they feel inside with only some of these measures, or even with little physical changes.

Why the asterisk? The experience of trans* people is really varied, and the * indicates that there is a lot of diversity within the group. It functions as an umbrella term.


What are Bisexuality and Pansexuality?

Bisexuality is an attraction to both men and women (or same and different genders) , though not necessarily to the same degree or in the same way. Many people "do not believe in bisexuality"; however, it has been proven to be a stable and legitimate orientation. The Kinsey Scale, which measures sexual attraction from completely heterosexual to completely homosexual, is an easy way to understand how some people can fall on the spectrum of attraction.

Similar to Bisexuality is Pansexuality, which is an attraction to all genders, or attraction regardless of gender. Some people prefer this term because they feel it more clearly includes non-binary genders (that is, people are not the commonly accepted boy and girl identities), however bisexuality is now more commonly understood as attraction to similar and dissimilar genders.


What does queer mean?

Queer is an umbrella term for people who are unwilling to define their sexual or gender identity by a more specific term, or prefer the more general name. Many younger people use this term as the older generation experienced it more as a slur. An example: 

" Danielle Flink says, “When I first came out, I identified as bisexual. Over time, I realized that I really was way more attracted to women so I identified as a lesbian. Then the person I fell in love with came out to me as transgender.  I wasn't sure where I fit anymore.  I was confused. I asked myself a million questions before I came to a self understanding that my sexual orientation wasn't fixed.  It never had been.  Even before I placed a label on myself upon coming out, I didn't feel like I belonged in any "group" or "box" or "label" that society currently had to offer me. So then I came across queer. At the time, I was pretty gender nonconforming as well so it really seemed to fit everything I wanted into a word that I could tell people when they asked.” 

What is Asexuality?

Asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction** (NOT celibacy, which is a choice to abstain from sex). However, asexuality can also be considered an umbrella term for others identities, including grey-asexual and demisexuals. 

Grey-Asexuals feel sexual desire very occasionally, or have a low sex drive, or only enjoy sex under very limited circumstances. They are the "grey area" between sexual people and fully asexual people.

Demisexuals only feel sexual desire in the context of a strong emotional connection.

Asexuals also have romantic orientations, for example, someone could be asexual homoromantic or asexual aromantic. Asexuals who also fall under specific romantic identities will often identify with the umbrella term of that identity. For example, a homoromantic asexual may consider himself part of the gay umbrella. Often associated with asexuals are  aromantics; however, this is a distinct and separate identity. 

Aromantics do not feel romantic attraction. This does not mean that they are emotionless robots that cannot love, it simply means that they primarily feel familial and platonic types of love. Note that being aromantic is independent from being asexual, some asexuals feel romantic love and some aromantics feel sexual attraction.

What does intersex mean? 

Intersex people are born with bodies that are physically between the usual definitions of male and female. Intersex people also exist on a spectrum, much like the ones for asexuality and bisexuality***. Some may never know that they deviated from the classical male and female bodies. Others are more clearly in the middle.  For example:
 "a girl may be born with a noticeably large clitoris, or lacking a vaginal opening, or a boy may be born with a notably small penis, or with a scrotum that is divided so that it has formed more like labia. Or a person may be born with mosaic genetics, so that some of her cells have XX chromosomes and some of them have XY."

What is or isn't defined as intersex usually ends up depending on doctors and other people who decide to make a judgment. There are many ways that people could be outside the traditional male and female body definitions. The intersex community focuses on making sure that people do not receive unwanted "corrective"surgeries but instead have free will over their own bodies.

Do these terms ever overlap?

Of course! It's important to understand that human diversity doesn't just apply to one area. Someone can belong to several of these identities at once. There is a lot more to this topic than just gay and straight, and the problems and issues associated with each of these identities are different. 

Works Cited: [x] [x] [x]

*The opposite of trans* is cisgender. Someone who is cisgender is someone born as the gender they identify as. 

**Even if asexuals do not feel sexual attraction to another, they can become aroused. 


***As an aside, its important to note that the human experience is more often in shades of grey than binaries. Many things simply cannot be shoved into neat little categories. This can be hard for neophytes to understand, but it is not only important to the study of gender and sexuality, but really to understand a lot of the natural world and the world of sociology!

#1:Why this Topic?

What are the forgotten letters? They are the identities under the LGBTQ+ that people do not know much about. 

The public may understand the first two letters somewhat clearly, but when it comes to trans*, queer, bisexual, asexual, intersex, and other identities under the rainbow flag, per say, people tend to be confused and even outright misinformed. I chose this topic because it is important for people to understand each other before they can truly act with compassion in each other's best interests. The problems faced by the these groups are unique and often times quite distinct from those faced by homosexuals that do not fall into any other of the LGBTQ+ identities.